This isn't the first time I'd had an encounter with the alluring five dollar deal. We'd first met when he was much larger...a five foot window printable on the glass front of another Taco Bell. Since that first encounter Michael and I had discussed several times what a good deal the Five Buck Box is because the Crunch Wrap Supreme by itself is almost $3. So for an extra $2 we could get some new burrito, a soft taco, cinnamon twisties and a drink...only an idiot would say no...right?
So we excitedly ordered the Five Buck Box with a root beer. After much anticipation the drive-thru girl handed us a bag of food. A BAG??? Where's my box?? It's called the Five Buck BOX. Okay, so maybe they are trying to save a little money...it's hard economic times for everyone, even the corporate guys at Taco Bell. I get it. Whatever. You could at least make your advertising match the actual product. Bag is a B word....call it the Five Buck Bag! Or maybe the Five Dollar Deal. Don't get my hopes up that I'm getting some spiffy movie-theater-esque box to eat out of and then leave me high and dry!
Anyways, so then Michael takes a sip of our drink and it's not Root Beer!! It's Pepsi!! Sick! How hard is it to get an order right with two things? A five buck box with a Root Beer. I know all the late night Taco Bell employees at best are community college kids with a baggy of marijuana in their pocket for their lunch break...but I mean come on. Michael's 7 year old sister could do your job!
Needless to say, at this point we are thoroughly disappointed and we have yet to even partake of the cheap taco goodness. So we get home and start out with the new burrito...some kind of beef burrito with spicy fritos. I was skeptical, and I should have been. It was beef with the nastiest curdled milk tasting cheap cheese and soggy fritos. I took one bite and wanted to spit it in the trash. Of course the crunch wrap and soft taco were good. And who doesn't enjoy a good cinnamon twisty fix? But after the emotional roller coaster I'd been on for the rest of the meal, I felt more like we had purcased the Five Dollar Disappointment.
So to all you late night Taco Bell-ers, or just Taco Bell consumers in general...I'd say, yes, order the Five Buck Box. Just realize you don't get any nifty box, throw out the nasty frito burrito before you even take a single bite and make sure the person you're ordering from speaks English and gets the drink right. Then maybe you can have the euphoric experience with the Five Buck Box that we were never lucky enough to have.
